So... compared to many, I tend to blog a lot. It's my way to stay sane. No, really - I'd have to merit finally getting over a major hump in depression recovery to the blogosphere. I was still really struggling with not feeling like I had a supportive network of friends or a needed best friend. Of course, I had friends, but not like I needed - all the best candidates either lived far far away, had busy lives of their own, and/or couldn't quite give me what my crazy self craved. And frankly, I wasn't in the kind of space that made making friends very easy - desperate, unstable, closed-in, hypersensative, and incapable of taking the kinds of risk necessary to building healthy relationships and open lines of communication.
Then along came the blog - my own personal miracle - it was exactly what I needed. I could have a social life without necessarily having to be social. I could see family and find old friends. I could put whatever I wanted out there without any real risks or expectations (okay, so I really like comments and I wait for them like Christmas morning - but my world doesn't crumble around me if the comment box stays empty.) I could work at having a life again while living vicariously through the lives of others. I could slowly practice at being relatively normal in an atmosphere where people are almost always positive.
Meanwhile, it put me in a position to focus on the positives in my life as I framed my world for others to see. It provided me a chance to write and to feel the accompanying edge-of-your-seat, mind-tingling, confident sensation that was my almost constant companion through the school years. It gave me the chance to complete a small task well in a world where the thought of cleaning the kitchen well was too daunting a task to even start and hence even more defeating. Yes, it brought me a much needed measure of accomplishment and gratitude.
Yeah, I could go on and on about how blogging has saved my sanity... but I'll stop here because I CAN! and still feel happy about myself and life in general. What a lovely thing to be able to say honestly! Thanks again blogosphere and all you who venture therein for giving me the space I needed to recover a large measure of my happy, confident self!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
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2 comments:
I just have to tell you that blogging, facebook and email are the things that keep me from yelling like a mad woman everyday. Maybe it's because it gives me a chance to gather myself, or it could just be that communication with others takes the edge off. Either way, I'm a happier mom when I blog ;)
Saddie, Hurray for you! I'm glad blogging has brought you some strength in your life, some days as a mom we don't find that very well. I love to hear from you and love to be able to check in on family and friends. Hang in there girl I sure love you!
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